Fear gets to the best of us, whether it is fear of failure, fear of success or even fear of fear. All of us have experienced fear at some point in our lives and it can be a real stumbling block that holds us back from being truly successful.
Fear can’t hold you back forever, if you don’t let it. There are several ways to overcome fear, here are my top 9:
1. SEPARATE REALITY FROM PERCEPTION
Ask yourself what is really going on, locate the facts and place them over your feelings. Is it really your fear or is it a fear you picked up from someone else?
I use the question “What is the worst that can happen?” and then I dig deeper by asking the same question to the previous answer. And most of the times it ends up not being as bad as first expected and the fear disappear.
2. IDENTIFY THE TRIGGER
Figure out what it is in a situation that triggers you. Learning to identify it will help you learn to combat it. Maybe get your partner to point it out, when he or she notice. Sometimes we don’t even know what triggers us until it’s too late.
3. KNOW WHERE FEAR LIVES IN YOUR BODY
A lot of times, fear takes over physically. It affects different people different ways. Identify if/how it affects your physical body and do the work to take care of your body. Ex: if you hold stress in your back, you can learn stretches, foam rolling, etc. to avoid the pain.
4. PRACTICE GRATITUDE
Everyday, list out 10 things you are grateful for. And don’t just write the things down, write down WHY you are grateful? And better is if you can feel the gratitude at the same time. It doesn’t matter how big or small it is, gratitude helps shift the mind into a positive light, which overtime, overcomes fear.
5. LISTEN TO YOUR INNER VOICE
Monitor your inner conversations. If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself. Speak positively to yourself and remind yourself of your strengths.
6. CREATE A NEW ASSOCIATION
Remind yourself that the feeling and the moment will pass. In Hindu they say “Annicha” witch means “this too shall pass”. After winter comes summer. Focus on the positive outcome of the situation, rather than the scary in between.
7. LOOK AT THE GLASS HALF FULL
Perception is a very powerful thing, and how you feel about your situation dictates how you respond. So think positively and you’ll give yourself a much better chance of success. This won’t happen overnight; practice with just one thought. What is one recurring negative/fearful thought you have? Work on reversing this one thought. Overtime, this will become a habit.
Think like The Buddha did.
My daughter came to me today and said “I can’t go to work today, I’m sick and what about my job, I just started”. I responded like The Buddha. “At least you have a job and you are sick and not dead. Much to be grateful for. This too will pass and you’ll be back on your feet before you know it.” So, write down 10 things you can be grateful for regarding your situation.
8. PRACTICE BREATHING EXERCISES
Breathing helps center your body; when you stop breathing, your heart stops beating. You can do a grounding exercise, or even just take 5 deep, long breaths at any point to calm and center yourself. I start my day with what is called box breathing. You breathe in and count to 5, hold your breath, counting to 5 and breathe out counting to 5, then hold your breath for 5 and repeat 5 times. It is best to start your day with this, but feel free to practice all day long. Also a good practice to do just before sleeping and if you can, after your lunch.
9. CREATE A SAFE SPACE
When you feel safe and secure, there is no room for fear. Find somewhere safe you can retreat to when ill feelings begin- whether this is a real place such as your bedroom, or a place in your mind such as the beach. This sense of comfort will soothe you and allow you to face your fear.
Please keep in mind, these are just 9 strategies, not everything works for everyone. But this is a place to start. Start implementing these techniques into your life and don’t let fear hold you back from reaching your goals and your highest potential this year!
Want to have more ways to release fear? Write in the comment section below.
And remember, I love you – just the way you are.
